Marriage and its Impediments



Infatuation (seeing the as the ideal – and perfect – partner) is an impediment to a successful marriage. Guru will go to work immediately after the marriage to raise the ego boundaries, dim the light of perfection in the eyes of the one infatuated, and the marriage partner or spouse will set to work mirroring the infatuated one back to themselves. This is a recipe for failed expectations, failed romance and hard work. All marriage is hard work with division of karmic responsibilities — to one another.


 

William Shakespeare wrote: “Let me not to the marriage of true minds admit impediments“…

Marriage is a form of yoga, a path to the Divine

Brihat Jataka informs: “To judge the suitability of a couple,

  • The features of their feet, hands, etc.
  • The influence of Moon’s position,
  • The Ascendant,
  • The time of query,
  • The behaviour of the crow towards the oblation offered to it
  • And the omens

should be taken into consideration by the learned astrologer and then only the marriage should be performed since the marital union is the most fundamental ritual in the life of mankind.”

Successful Marriage requires discipline, self-knowledge, and moral effort

A defacto relationship or cohabitation is not a marriage. It is a relationship formed in the 11th house, not the Lagna, Navamsha or 7th house. A de-facto relationship (common law marriage without spoken vows) or cohabitation which does not produce a child is not regarded as marriage in Vedic astrology.

If the Moon is in the same sign for both partners, this can be good, but beware, both partners will be hit with Sade Sati at the same time.

Two opposing Mars, or Mars opposing Moon, may create a powerful emotional/sexual attraction initially. But unless other planets step in to smooth communication, Mars makes fights.

The two partners’ Venus and Mars positions reveal sexual communication style. These styles determine physical, emotional, and possibly spiritual sexual compatibility. Asht-Koot Milan (8-point checking) also checks sexual compatibility in marriage. Lack of compatibility may lead to affairs, no children and other stresses on the relationship.

 

Broken egg as symbol of problem marriage
Marriage can be a problem

 

Infatuation (seeing the as the ideal – and perfect – partner) is an impediment to a successful marriage. Guru will go to work immediately after the marriage to raise the ego boundaries, dim the light of perfection in the eyes of the one infatuated, and the marriage partner or spouse will set to work mirroring the infatuated one back to themselves. This is a recipe for failed expectations, failed romance and hard work. All marriage is hard work with division of karmic responsibilities — to one another.

Entering the intimate psychic and physical space of another person is often a painful karmic process, but it is also a spiritual privilege. to know the heart of another is to know the heart of the divine. Relationships are, indeed, the ultimate spiritual practice! And like all high-value spiritual practice, intimate partnership can feel both exhilarating and blissful, but also bitterly painful and difficult – at times.

Premarital sexual relations, and sex with other partners before marriage is a karmic debt which will cause the marriage to fail. The teaching is na sreyo niyamam vina; without proper discipline, there can be no progress. If one has been undisciplined in sexual relations before marriage, this will continue during the marriage and ultimately cause it to fail. One should not be having relations during brahmacharya on the level of the senses. If one wishes to be an intimate friend before marriage, then that intimacy should be on the level of the five human values, that is, truth, right conduct, peace, non-violence and selfless love.

In medieval times, marriage was a social contract to live together in society. The ritual was called “handfasting” and the couple jumped over a broom together, in public. The community witnessed this commitment. In those days, life expectancy was 40 years, in the Anglo-Celtic cultures. Today, when society makes significant economic demands on a marriage and both partners must work, one of the most important goals of marriage is to provide a secure space of trust for each other, mutual understanding and support for two spiritually independent individuals.

To cease practice of one’s personal faith once a marriage begins is an impediment to a successful marriage which fulfils its obligations to family, relations, society and culture. Lack of spirituality in marriage indicates that one has not shared the heart with their partner. Committments will be short-term, immature and ultimately selfish and destructive to the marriage bond.

Marriage can only survive when there is agreement on how to conduct the division of karmic duties in all compartments of the relationship. The higher and more spiritual sophisticated is the agreement level (spiritual, mental, social, financial, physical) the easier is the partnership. These things must be examined when checking for impediments to a successful marriage relationship; Marriage is part of the divine plan, the wife is Griha Laxmi, the Husband is Maha Vishnu for the wife.

Physical Impediments to consider

Good health in each partner is important. Malefics in houses 3-6-11 indicate resistance to disease. Obesity, depression, marrying an older person who ages faster, increased blood pressure, heart disease, indications of diabetes all put pressure on the marital relationship. Health problems in children put incredible strains on the parents. These things must be examined in both the prospective partners charts before undertaking the marriage bond.

To Remove Impediments in Life:

“In order for the wisdom of special insight to remove impediments to proper understanding, and to remove faulty mental states at their very roots, we need concentrated meditation, a state of complete single-mindedness in which all internal distractions have been removed.

Single-minded meditation involves removing subtle internal distractions such as the mind’s being either too relaxed or too tight. Concentration brings success to any activity.

Rahu is the karmic dispositor in a person’s life. If Rahu is conjunct the spouse’s Moon then problems are indicated. Rahu is generally a self-seeking and self-serving spouse. The person with Rahu in the same sign as the spouse’s Moon will cause sorrow.

We take up the matter of Kuja Dosha or Angaraka Dosha (marital aggression by planets) here.

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